The third week of June in my family has always been about celebrating Dad.  Like nearly every other family in the nation, we spent the third Sunday of June honoring Dad on Father’s Day.  But my dad was born on June 21 which often meant, as it does this year, that both his birthday and Father’s Day fall on the same day giving us all much to celebrate.

Indeed, during this first official weekend of summer, we celebrated Dad by indulging in all his favorites: Sunday breakfast following Father’s Day church service consisting of mini waffles topped with strawberries and whipped cream at his favorite restaurant, an afternoon glued to the TV watching the final round of a golf tournament, blowing out the candles on his birthday cake (strawberry and fresh whipped cream of course!) and opening gifts.

Over the years, I insisted that there be separate birthday and Father’s Day gifts, even when the two occasions took place on the same day.  Some of the carefully wrapped gifts were of the usual Dad fare: colorful polo shirts, golf paraphernalia or books.  In other years, a bit of inspiration would strike.  For one special birthday year, there was a signed letter and golf ball from his favorite golf pro.  A handmade coin box for his growing coin collection make the top of the gift list another year.

Regardless of what the gift box contained, Dad was always grateful, appreciative and happy to receive it.  He would carefully unwrap the box trying desperately to “save” the wrapping paper and always rewarded us with a kiss of thanks and a big smile.  He could often be heard remarking that he didn’t think he deserved all of the fuss.

This year there are no gifts.  There are no birthday cake candles to blow out or Happy Father’s Day cards to buy.  This is the first year I must celebrate my Dad without him being here.  Since his passing last year, this is the first time I can’t wish him Happy Father’s Day or Happy Birthday.

While the loss is still very fresh and there are still many more tears than smiles when remembering Dad, what I know for sure is that my Dad gave me so many more gifts than I ever gave him. His kindness, generosity and sense of gratitude are now a part of me. Dad was grateful for everything and never missed an opportunity to express it to those he loved.  His heart was open and pure and he would certainly give the shirt off his back to anyone who might need it. I can’t remember a day when he didn’t share a smile with those around him or try to make others laugh.  Even strangers reaped the benefits of his sense of humor and good nature.

A lifetime of memories are filled with times that he made an impact.  As a kid, would I have pitched all those winning games had he not spent hours with me tossing around a baseball?  Would I have learned to read music if he had not demonstrated his own passion for and experience playing an instrument?  Would I have seen so much of this country and world had my Dad not instilled in me an enthusiasm for travel?  The answer is very likely “no” to all these questions.

On a day like today, there is so much to miss, remember and appreciate.  But there is also the reminder to try each and every day to be more like Dad, to be a better person, to smile, to laugh and to be thankful for all of life’s blessings.  That is perhaps the greatest gift any dad can give his child.  I know it is the best gift my dad gave me.

So, while I recall his unique “Dad-isms” and reminders (“Don’t forget to get your oil changed” or “Be careful if you’re driving; there are crazy drivers out there!”), what I remember most, what I miss most is his kind heart and big smile.

Today, through my tears I can look up to the sky and smile at Dad thankful for each and every Father’s Day and birthday we ever shared.  I’m deeply grateful for all the memories he created for me and am so proud and lucky I was able to call him Dad.

On this sunny summer Sunday, my heart and prayers are with all those child and adult sons and daughters who are without their dads either due to death, illness or estrangement.  I hope you can spend some time today remembering your father with smiles and laughter.

Thank you Dad for all you did and all you continue to do for me in my life.  You are treasured, loved and missed. Happy, Happy Birthday and Happy Father’s Day!