How is it possible? How is it possible that a whole year has passed? It is a question that many ask themselves as they face the one-year anniversary of the death of a loved one.
Today is my turn to ask that question. Exactly a year ago today my dad passed away and it is unimaginable that a whole year has passed by without him. It literally seems like yesterday that he was here with us. I still expect to see him relaxing in his favorite lounge chair enjoying his favorite TV mystery or perhaps enjoying a PGA golf tournament. I can still so clearly picture his broad smile and hear his hearty laugh as he frequently joked with those around him.
It is absolutely and perfectly appropriate that the sun is shining brightly without a cloud in the sky on this unseasonably pleasant July day in Chicago.
Today I laid my beloved dad, Louis “Lou” Pekala, to rest. Just having celebrated his 88th birthday a few weeks previous, God gently called him home on July 10.
As a writer and journalist, I’ve worked to craft stories that will make an impact. But through the example of my dad’s life, I learned that the very best stories are the ones that are based on heart, meaning, and purpose. The “L” in Lou always stood for love. He was the gentlest of souls with a tender heart and pure spirit.
In honor of my dad and in celebration of his life, I’d like to share his story and the precious lessons he left behind.
Make Time to Laugh
My dad lived to put a smile on someone’s face or lighten their day by telling a joke. When he was being prepped for hip surgery recently, a nurse asked him to tell her his name and he replied as serious as pie, “George Washington”. He got the chuckle he was looking for. He was always the first to wave to a neighbor or say hello to a stranger.
Express Your Gratitude
Dad appreciated every little thing anyone did for him. Not a day went by that he didn’t follow his bedtime ritual of telling his wife of 64 years he loved her and thanked her for taking care of him. He was grateful to his good neighbors Kevin and Jenny Letz for taking on snow removal duties when he no longer could and told them so. Than You was a phrase he used every single day.
Think of Others
First and foremost, Lou was a man who always, always put others ahead of himself. A devoted family man, he would do anything for his wife, kids, grandchild, friends and neighbors, always looking to find something “extra special” to do for them. As kids, we could always count on Dad to be the one to plan trips to Kiddieland, DisneyWorld, miniature golf or swimming at the local hotel pool.
Be Curious About Life
He was a voracious reader who was interested in learning about everything from what’s really out there in outer space to history, mysteries and science. He would ask me on a daily basis to “punch up” on my smartphone or computer to find an answer to a question that was on his mind.
Find Joy in Simple Things
Dad was not one who needed to travel around the world to find his happiness. He certainly enjoyed his occasional vacations but mostly he loved being in his home, often referring to it as his “personal paradise”. He took great pleasure in simple things like watching his favorite Hercules Poirot mystery on TV or sitting at the kitchen table looking into his backyard enjoying the sight of the birds and squirrels who visited there.
Enjoy the Comfort of Traditions
Lou was a man who relished routine. Nearly every Sunday after mass, he would take his wife to his favorite breakfast spot where just like clockwork, he would order the exact same thing: 4 mini-waffles—2 strawberry, 1 apricot and 1 peach, always with a smile and a wink to the waitress reminding her to add extra whip cream.
Be Courageous.
My dad was a fighter and incredibly courageous. He struggled through a number of health challenges, including miraculous surviving a Triple A rupture three years ago, hip surgery and heart failure which required a defibrillator. But even though many people would have given up, he always fought through these challenges and rarely with a complaint. He appreciated the help of his healthcare professionals who cared for him, never failing to thank them for the smallest of tasks or ask them about their lives.
Make Music a Part of Your Life
Dad taught me a love for music and the enjoyment of playing an instrument. A talented musician, he had a great ear for music. He loved to pull out one of his prized concertinas to play some of his favorite Polish songs. When I gave him an iPod loaded with all of his music, he could often be seen rocking in his Lazy Boy, earphones in his ear, loudly singing and playing the “air concertina” as he followed along.
Take Up a Sport
Standing at his side while my dad hit a bucket of balls on the driving range, I learned at an early age the joy that a love of sport can bring. Dad was passionate about golf. He loved to walk the course, enjoying being outdoors as he did his best shooting 18 holes. He proudly earned a “longest drive” award and could boast a hole-in-one. When he could golf no more, you could count him to be glued to the TV on weekends to see if Tiger or Phil would get the championship win.
Invest in Creating Special Bonds
Dad was blessed within a single grandchild and he was a devoted grandfather to Natalie. Be became known as “Poppy” and proudly sported his favorite gray sweatshirt that said “Somebody Special Calls Me Poppy”. Nothing gave him more joy than to put a smile on his granddaughter’s face. He created a cherished bond with her when he started a special coin collection for her, religiously adding to her collection and explaining the history and significance of the coins.
Don’t Be Afraid to Indulge a Little
Although Dad needed to watch his diet for health reasons, his eyes would light up when someone offered him some of his favorite treats: a chocolate éclair, strawberry waffle ice cream cone, Pizz elle cookie, and most especially Hershey’s chocolate. He always knew he could count on me to secretly slip a few Hershey’s kisses to him when his wife wasn’t looking.
Although I am still processing my incredible grief and sadness at the loss of my dear dad, I also feel just incredibly, unbelievably lucky. I can proudly call Lou Pekala, this incredibly special person with a heart of gold, my dad.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU DAD. I will cherish the memories and life lessons you taught me. I love you completely and will miss you forever.
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